Becoming a master receiver
Happy New Year to you!
I hope this finds you in good spirits and good health.
I’ve been enjoying some much deserved bathrobe and soup time during this season of hibernation. Taking time to do nothing is a practice that I hold dear. As a creative, this is my time for inspiration: Time spent cuddling my animals and telling them how precious they are, my daily walk, cooking lunch and laying in the late morning sunlight on my bed.
This is where my best ideas take shape.
It was a day much like one of these last year that I had the insight of becoming a Master Receiver. As someone who was used to burning out regularly, putting so much energy into projects and people that I crash and burn, the idea of receiving more sounded luxurious. How could I let life spoil me? And how do I receive these gifts with a receptive and gracious heart?
So much of how I received was tied up in guilt. You know the old saying “Tis better to give than to receive”? I wanted to challenge that. I wanted to receive material gifts, words and sentiments, sunsets, money, opportunities, challenges — All of it! Without guilt, shame or deflection.
While it may seem easier to receive gifts in my line of work, let me tell you, 2023 really impressed me! From big things like a trip to Mexico, my beloved espresso machine, more flower deliveries than I can count, shoes and clothes. But also gifts that didn’t cost anything like a new-to-me feather bed (my bed is where I do my best work!), encouragement from my dearest friends when times were tough, adoration from my partners, sweet testimonials from clients, and the opportunity to go start another business. I am so incredibly grateful for this life! I feel so cared for.
My main takeaways from this year on how to receive splendidly:
Self worth/Self love: Well, that’s a doozy to start out with, Bess! But for real, if you don’t think you deserve good things in life, nobody else is going to think so either. So wipe that snarky voice from your head that tells you that you suck and start telling yourself that you deserve a little treat from this life. You are worthy of good things because you fucking exist. And no, you don’t need to be perfect to get good things in life. Say it with me now, “Good things come to me.”
Notice small opportunities to receive: Finding coins on the street, a stranger compliments your super cute onesie at the grocery store, a driver lets you cut in front of them, or your friend offers to pay for dinner. These happen all the time. Notice them! Say it with me, “Good things come to me — Fuck yeah!”
Practice Gratitude: “Yes, please!” “Thank you.” “More, please!” Get used to saying yes! When offered the last cookie/slice of pizza/splash of wine? You say: “Yes please!” “I’ve got this” as your friend pays for both of your coffees. You say: “Thank you!” “Say when” on your freshly grated parmesan cheese. You say: “More, please!”
Let go of expectations: Nobody owes you anything. Not a smile, not a crumb from their cookie. Nobody has to hold the door for you, say sorry when they run into you, cook you dinner when you come home from work. Nature doesn’t owe you beautiful landscapes, bird songs or sunshine. Can you handle being the center of your own universe and NOBODY ELSE’S? I know, that’s a big ask. Thinking you’re owed anything is a great way to sabotage your own happiness.
You will probably either struggle with #1 or #2 the most. Welcome to being human! That’s why this takes some effort. Or maybe you’re perfectly content with life and don’t wish for anything more. If that’s so, good for you! Live it up, darling!
