Musings on love: part 2

Bess lays across the bed, arms stretched overhead. Bess smiles, and looks toward the camera, eyes sparkling.

I’m often intrigued by the posts I read about love, sex and escorting on Twitter. While I get having strong boundaries — they’re a must in this line of work — I feel like the folks with the loudest voices aren’t always reflective of how I feel. I also don’t always share my personal feelings because SW Twitter can be a vicious place! Talking about love with a client is so taboo. And you know I love playing with the taboo. 

The truth is, I’ve fallen in love with multiple clients over the years and I think it’s beautiful. It’s part of why I chose “Bess Love” as my name! I’m someone who likes to say “Yes!” to love when it’s presented, even if it’s not the most logical choice. Love isn’t logical though, is it? It comes from the heart. As a life-long lover of love, my nature is to pursue love when it arises. Even though I’ve been hurt many times. Even when I know it probably won’t last. Why?

I got a message from one of my body meditations a few years ago that my heart wants to experience every flavor of love that it can. And I’m committed to helping her/myself do just that. Taste the rainbow! Many of my greatest life lessons have been from being in relationship. I’ve learned boundaries, my desires, and how to love another human without trying to change them. I wouldn’t take back any of my relationships. 

The client/provider relationship isn’t different from other relationships, in my opinion. We’re two humans playing together. Sometimes beautiful things happen! I will say at this time though, I’m not open to relationships with married people who aren't in an open/polyamorous relationship. While I find affairs so hot (like sooooo hot!) they’re a huge fucking mess that I don’t want in my life. 

My longest relationship was with someone who I met when I worked at my first strip club. I had a rule of not sleeping with customers in part because of always being in monogamous relationships and because of my internalized whorephobia at the time. Of course I broke that rule a couple of times because rules are meant to be broken when it feels right (in my humble opinion)! It was hot and we spent years driving each other crazy, traveling the world and growing weed . . . My roaring 20’s lol. 

I feel like letting go of the need for romantic relationships to last forever was a huge lesson for me on my polyamorous journey. What I really wanted was to feel secure forever which, I’ve learned, is nobody else’s job. My relationship with myself will last for my lifetime and I’ve put a lot of work into creating a loving partnership with myself. I don’t need someone else to complete me. I am complete! And I do desire so much love and connection in my life because it’s so damned tasty! 

The separation of love and sex took me some time to unravel. While I still love making love with someone I love, I also really enjoy fucking for the joy of it! Diving into passion with all of my senses is what I live for! And also not assuming we’re in love just because we have hot sex. They can exist separately and I actually really like that. What can be created when we’re not attached to a fixed outcome or fantasy? How free can we feel when we can explore each other’s bodies without ownership of them? How does it make you feel if I’m wholly yours for the next 2 hours?

So I know you might be asking, what sets someone apart as a potential lover for you, Bess? Beyond them being really into me and me being really into them, it’s their ability to appreciate me for who I am, how much they like themselves, and what they bring to the table. I live an unconventional life and I tend to be drawn to lovers who are on a similar, multi-faceted path. I adore big beautiful brains, intelligent conversation, playfulness, being kinda pervy/kinky, and having a broad spectrum for the mind and heart. 

Are you ready to open to what’s possible?

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prioritizing your pleasure

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