prioritizing your pleasure
Hi there, lovely!
In an age where everyone and everything commands our attention, it can feel nearly impossible to place our focus where we want to. How can you focus when your watch is alerting you that you need to move your body again, the notifications on your phone keep coming in one after the other, your earbuds are playing music into your ears 12 hours a day, the screen at the gas station is trying to sell you something while you pump gas, your eyes keep fixating on one of six TV sets at the restaurant . . . the list goes on. As the saying goes, where attention goes, energy flows.
So the question is: What are you paying attention to?
From years of teaching yoga and meditation, I noticed that folks often focus on what feels bad first: My back hurts, my stomach is acidic today, I feel sad . . . While these are all very real experiences and are perfect messages to you from your body, we can often get pulled into a narrow view. So aside from your stomach being upset, what else do you feel in your body? Perhaps you feel your feet on the floor. Neutral experiences are a great place to start especially if finding what feels good is challenging.
Beauty, joy, delight, feeling the erotic pulse of life! You don’t have to go to a museum or on a tropical vacation to experience these feelings (Though it doesn’t hurt!). Noticing the small things that feel good is what builds to bigger things. When I learned to start feeling pleasure in my everyday life — like walking barefoot on the grass and feeling the wind caress my hair — I started having more expansive self-pleasure sessions, partnered sex and orgasms. And not like a little bit better, but like mind-melting, soul-explodingly better.
And if you’re worried that you’ll succumb to a life of pure hedonism, fear not! You can still be a fully functioning adult/parent/business owner and have a knock-your-socks-off sex life! In fact, having mind-blowing masturbation sessions will absolutely enhance the rest of your life!
Three tips for experiencing more pleasure right now:
Take a deep breath. Inhale through the nose, exhale out the mouth. Repeat as needed. While experiencing any of the examples below, take a deep breath. Be in the moment with your experience (This is my #1 advice for all of my clients. Breathe!).
Engage your senses. Notice all the different touches, tastes, smells, sights and sounds throughout your day. The smell and taste of your morning coffee, the pitch of your coworker’s voice as they tell you about their weekend, the feel of your keyboard keys underneath your fingertips. How do these sensations feel? What thoughts and/or emotions arise?
Notice where pleasure is already present. The silky fabric of your shirt, the sunrise on your morning commute, the crunchy gravel under your feet as you walk, your favorite song playing at the store while you grocery shop.
While I firmly believe we’re all capable of experiencing unfathomable amounts of pleasure at any given moment, sometimes it’s nice to have an experienced guide. Someone who is well-versed in the ways of pleasure. Someone who can help you tap into what’s here and how to work with it. Personally, I find working with teachers, mentors and guides to be an invaluable resource for my lifelong learning.
Want to learn more with me?
