freedom is free
Happy summer to you, love!
I was walking the other day, as I do every day, and saw a typical Okie bumper sticker that said “Freedom isn’t free”. Normally when I see such things, I judge this person in my mind as a redneck and carry on. But on this day, it stood out to me because I thought of how inherently wrong this expression is for me. It really comes down to how you personally define freedom. Here we are in “the land of the free”, but I don’t think we all feel our own personal freedom.
What Freedom means to me
In the body, freedom is felt. It’s an ease and buoyancy of the muscles of the diaphragm, pelvic floor and jaw. It’s a flow of unrestricted breath in and out of my body. It’s a buoyant heart that soars beyond the confines of a body.
In my mind, it’s a feeling of potential. I’m a dreamer and schemer. Oftentimes, ideas drop in and I elaborate on them, helping them grow and come to life. The ability to allow “out there” ideas to flourish and not cut them apart with ideas like “well, this could never happen because x, y, z . . .” feels like freedom. I can create anything that I set myself in line with!
Another part of freedom that feels crucial is exploring the stories within myself that hold me back. Feelings of scarcity, being not good enough, or being unlovable, for example. Over the years as I’ve dissected these, listened to the stories and loved them for keeping me safe, it has allowed me to feel massively free in my own psyche. Learning to embrace my erotic self while letting go of the internalized stories of whorephobia, compulsory monogamy and judgment of being a woman have helped me be the Bess you meet now.
Helping others transcend these limiting self beliefs has been my work for almost 20 years now. Through yoga, meditation, friendship, coaching and now companionship. I’m an inherently optimistic person while having empathy for myself and others along this journey of life.
Staying in tune with these felt and expressed forms of freedom is a barometer for navigating my personal life. Being liberated and a liberator are core aspects of me as a person. When I feel parts of my life squashing my liberation, like relationships or my own thoughts, I know it’s time to tune in and reassess. I’m not here to be caged by others, society or myself. And if I can’t liberate myself, how can I hold the torch for others?
While this may sound like noble, grand gestures, it’s actually a fucking messy process. Like most parts of being human. (Messy Bessy has entered the room)
Come feel free, get messy and be a human with me!
