Q&A with bess love
I thought I’d do a little Q&A with Bess Love since y’all love asking me questions. These are real questions from the NGL anonymous question link on my profile.
Let’s dive in!
What would make you reject a potential client?
It’s not what you think! Age (18+), weight, height, ethnicity, physical appearance, disability — These things aren’t important to me. I just ask that you are respectful of me as a person. I will deny requests if you are rude, demanding or try to negotiate my boundaries. In other words, just be your natural self! I really enjoy your quirks and the things you think are weird about you!
What are some good icebreaker questions when meeting a companion for the first time?
You hired a professional so let them lead conversation if you’re nervous. Here are some ideas for a first date:
Does the companion you’re seeing tour or travel often? Ask them how their latest trip went! Where is their next trip? Where’s one of their dream destinations?
What do you like to do in your free time? This will give you insight into their day-to-day life. Maybe they’re a student, parent, have another career, or love to bake cookies all day!
What type of music are you into? Have you seen any shows lately? Who would you love to see in concert?
What type of food do you love? (I’m a foodie so I can always go on and on about food!) What’s the best restaurant you’ve ever been to? Do you like to cook or bake?
What are your favorite types of client dates?
I love going to museums and outdoor places where we can walk around like botanic gardens and national parks. I take a walk every day and love to be out in nature.
I’m a huge fan of shows- music, theater, dance, opera, burlesque. I want to see it all!
Food- from 10 course tasting menus to the best burger in town, I want to eat it all! Don’t forget dessert- I love chocolate.
Have you been in an orgy before?
I’ve been to more orgies than I can count. I enjoy group sex very much. If you’d like to attend an orgy, you should start hanging out with sex-positive people who also enjoy group sex. Fetlife is a great platform for networking with people and places in your local community. While orgies will probably not be advertised anywhere, you can start meeting the types of people who may one day invite you to one! I know here in Tulsa, one of the sex clubs has different theme nights such as gang bang night. This is a great place to meet people!
Which STIs do SW get tested for? How often?
I can only speak for myself. My health is very important to me. Currently, I get a comprehensive test 8-10 times/year. This includes chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, syphilis, HSV I/II, trichomonas, mycoplasma, hepatitis C, hepatitis B and M. Gen. I choose to get vaginal, anal and oral swabs because STIs can live in any mucous membrane that comes into contact with them! Even if you’re using a barrier (condom, dental dam) every time you have sexual contact, you should still get tested at least once per year. I recommend more if you’re having sex with more than one person.
I’m a very outgoing guy, but very shy when expressing my desires with a provider. Any suggestions on how I should approach sharing my desires?
You can say just that! “Hi Bess! I feel very shy about expressing my desires with you.” Trust that you hired a professional and chances are, your provider will know how to help you gently open up. I find this easier to do when we meet in person and after getting to know one another over a drink or dinner.
What is your idea of sexual liberation?
The felt sense of being able to pursue what you want in your erotic life. Letting go of the stories and the shame that hold you back and embracing your full, erotic self. Who are you when you feel sexy?
What would you say to clients who feel bad about having to pay for companionship?
I’d say, you came to the right place! I specialize in helping folks overcome shame in regards to their sexuality. So I’d ask you . . . Why do you feel bad about paying for companionship? Dig a little deeper into your answer to find the point that really stings for you. Do you feel unworthy of a civilian relationship? Do you judge your weight/age/appearance/etc. as “not good enough”? Are you too busy with work to put time into a relationship? There are many reasons why folks seek companionship- all of them are valid. I’ve also hired a companion and it was one of the most fun experiences I’ve had! I plan to do it again!
What do your favorite clients do differently that sets them apart from other clients? Is it a frequency of visits thing or more of a personality, vibe, gifts, activity, shared experience kind of thing? What does it take to make it into your favs?
It’s all of the above! Being an open-minded, open-hearted person will get you far with me. Embracing what makes you unique (aka your weirdness) will help us connect. There’s also something special that happens after 4 or 5 dates- we get into our own unique groove. I really enjoy gifts that come from the heart and shared experiences that light us both up. Let go of only trying to please me and let’s find what pleases us both!
